Kara

September 5, 2014. The day I had been waiting for and the day that forever changed my life, my beautiful daughter was born at 2:38 in the afternoon. She had full head of dark curly hair. Before we even left the hospital she was sharing her beautiful smile and had continued to bless me with it every single day.

She is now 5 months old and it's been wonderful with a side of difficult. I'm 30 years old and felt "I waited long enough, I should be ready and able to handle anything." Not so, but have truly enjoyed learning how to be a mother so far.

The most difficult part has been trying to learn it without my own mother to guide me and comfort me through the hard nights. I've missed her more than words can express and have had a very difficult time coping lately with the one year anniversary coming around since she left this world. The hardest part had been learning to confide in others the same way I did with her about all my concerns because she was like no other, she would listen to all my silly ramblings of all my dreams, wishes, and concerns and often times that was all I needed, just a listening ear...

One thing that I hope I will always give to my daughter.

An Intellectual Crisis

My sister Tiffany is taking an Honor class this semester because they are paying for her tuition. The class is studying Existentialism by studying an author’s compilation of authors that discuss different idea of Existentialism. Last night I walk in after a great basketball game where unfortunately my alma mater, USU, lost in the very last second of the game, which was a great disappointment and a point of aggregation to Chris… However, I digress. I found my Mom and sister pulling me immediately into a discussion because the section that my sister needed to read and write a response to was quite literally giving them a headache. It was the idea that Nothing is Nothing, but by simply discussing Nothing, Nothing has now become something. However in the end, because Nothing is Nothing it negates the something and become Nothing once more…. I assume that most of you would have glazed eyes, a slight headache, and wondered, “how can I escape this discussion?” I on the other hand, was intrigued and started my journey of understanding Heideger’s meaning. He brought meta-physics, dread, the way society uses the word Nothing, and so forth. I was unfortunately continually pulled away from reading by discussions of how to best put an understanding into a response paper. After helping put the dizzying  theories into a more day-to-day format, I asked about the next section of reading. It was an excerpt from Ortega discussing man and our natural existence. Delving into the book reminded me how I enjoyed college readings of philosophical ideas and then discussing them in length. Once I find that book again, I will share some of the topics and hopefully warrant a discussion… :)

Til then Goodnight and enjoy my simple thought on life.

A feat to be Recognized!!

You know how there are certain accomplishments in life that you just have to make known to the world because it felt so good that after finishing you can’t help but say “I did that!!” I had one of those moments today. For the last 9 months I have been working at becoming more fit, more trained. I joined a crossfit gym where the workouts not only push you to the limits physically but mentally as well. I have made most of my progress at Crossfit Utah Valley where the trainers will literally push me to a higher level than I thought possible during a workout. Below I will outline what the workout was for today and my wonderful accomplishment that went along with this workout.

40 back squats 95

30 pullups

20 shoulder to oh 95

40 front squats 65

30 pullups

20 shoulder to oh 65

40 ohs 45

30 pullups

20 shoulder to overhead 45

*No racks. Must use same barbell and change weight yourself

http://crossfituv.com

I woke up this morning after a nasty migraine the night before at 5:00 am. Before I knew it, 7:45 rolled around and I wasn’t dressed yet. I rushed out the door, missed the warm up completely and started to get my weight set up. Then I grabbed a band and box to assist in me doing the pull-ups. I then thought, “lets see how far I can get without using the band.” After going through the first two sets of 30 without the band, I refused to placate my sore and tired muscles. I wanted to succeed in what I had set out for and… I DID IT!! This was the first workout ever that I did pull-ups without a band. *Please take a moment of silence*….  

I finished the above work out though before the 45 min cap at 36:47. YAY!!

For all those out there looking to push themselves to the next level, I would encourage you to find a Crossfit gym nearby. It will be the best change in your life!!

The Moon

How many times do you stop to look at the stars, the moon, or night sky littered with clouds? It holds so many mysteries that has many astrologists’ grasping for a morsel of understanding. One of my favorite moments that I like to take for myself is to stare at the beauty of the full moon. I often wonder if I am part wolf at times… Awooo!!

I would invite all that the next time you see a full moon or a clear night sky, STOP! Look and appreciate the beauty that has been created for us. Maybe you will also find your inner wolf…

Love

“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and forget the ones that don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." 

-- Anonymous

quote-mary-ruggle.jpg

What is Love? While I realize that this comes on Valentines day. Don’t worry, this has no connection to the nick-name, single awareness day. 

I know for many Love is defined in the TV shows, the dramatic love stories in novels... I believe in many of our minds, love has been defined by how much someone else loves us individually… Ponder this, we are loved when we show love.

I’ve been through many break downs, as I’m sure all of us have in our ways, where I miss days where I felt Love. When I look at those time, The reason I felt so much love was because I shared it with everyone. This quote might not be perfect, the statement “Life is too short… Love…!!” This short post come to all those that are feeling lost, confused or un-loved. Reach out, ask someone for directions, and love those you come in contact with. You never know the ripple effect you will start.

The Beginning of Change

Very recently, I've decided to re-evaluate my goals and dedications. I went to a karate leadership conference where we were asked to memorize a statement of what a leader is. "A leader is someone who has the ability, confidence and dependability to influence their environment, including others, in a positive manner." I realized in my own life that I have been blessed with ability and confidence but have not been as dependable as I thought I should be. As I've been pondering this, a notion was brought to my attention in church. I needed to re-evaluate my dedications. Which brings me to open this blog, my thoughts of life. 


My main purpose of this blog will be to research important aspects in my life and share my findings to improve my life.


What are our most important dedications in life? I first start with what is the definition to dedicated. One definition is a person devoted to a task or purpose; having single-minded loyalty (giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution)
 or integrity (the state of being whole and undivided). I loved the definition of integrity, being undivided. I know that I have divided my dedication. I love to learn and have dedicated myself to learn a new language, better develop my skill at karate, and pursue my love of riding. After finding these definitions, I have come to the realization that I may be splitting myself and spreading myself too thin. 


However, where is my time being split? Too much of my time is taken lounging on a couch letting a story be told through television. I know that it is something that can be changed, I've experienced it. At one time, I had decided to cut it out of my life, I lasted all of 2 weeks. In those two weeks I found my mind was awakened!! I could think clearly, comprehend better the language I was striving to learn and retain more skill of karate. I would ask, how many hours do you spend watching someone else's creative thoughts fill your mind? I'm saying that it has to go completely, however it is something that should be controlled. With this I've decided to open my mind again to discovery of my own imagination. Re-dedicate myself to learning.


I would love to hear thoughts or goals that you would like to share.